Friday, November 4, 2011

Day 4: NaBloPoMo - Checking Out

I didn't write yesterday. See? Already!

Ever just given up? Checked out? No longer interested?

When I think about the times I've "checked out" in life, I think I've done it as a form of self-preservation. If you don't care, you can't be hurt. If you mentally quit, then you aren't disappointed, you don't feel like you failed or that you were wrong. Maybe it's even a way to avoid self-accountability. If you don't care, you don't need to hold yourself accountable.

Kinda like to those frumpy dressers on TLC's What Not To Wear. (I'm just sayin'.)

I've checked out in relationships. Stopped trying. Given up. Decided there wasn't anything to fight for. Of course, in 99% of those relationships (not that I've had many...) it was the right thing to do.

I've checked out in classes I've taken. Repeatedly. It's kind of a joke that I'm a quitter when it comes to my computer classes, but I have yet to figure out why. I really DO stop caring.... but WHY?

I've checked out on family. Sometimes the drama is just too much. Again with the self-preservation. I'm certainly no glutton for punishment.

Today a co-worker of mine checked out for the rest of their time with the company (one more week.) It's frustrating because I REALLY needed that person to button up some stuff before they take off and leave me with a bunch of crap I don't know how to do. I was met with resistance, complacency and a lack of "give-a-shit."

I hope I never end up like that.

I'm committing to checking IN next week. It just has to be a happier way to live.

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